Ain't no Birthday like a Facebook Birthday

At the end of last week I turned 35

When I was seven I had a Star Wars party. I was Luke Skywalker when he was a Jedi (I was all in black, a single black glove, I even had a cape). Someone came as Buck Rogers but I let it slide.

At my 'Welcome to Adulthood' 13th, it was with a group of gay men singing 'Happy Birthday in a TGI Fridays in Key West, Florida.

My 15th was a more sophisticated affair - A dinner party (I now shudder having seen that Inbetweeners episode) followed by a showing of Robocop - a 18 certificate I hasten to add.

My 18th was spent in the Public Bar of my parents pub with a Granny-gram with a huge pair of droopy knockers bending me over a chair and whipping me while my 'mates' all looked on in awe/disgust.

My 21st was a blast - My folks came up to University - we went to the Student Union and then proceeded to take photos all of all my friends (head-in-hands). Another great family moment that day was when I unwrapped my gift from all my chums - Oh lovely, a Zippo lighter.

'Why would a non-smoker want a Zippo?' My mother would ask...click, click, click BOOM!

We then went to...I'm going to say 'TGI Fridays' again before heading back to my Halls of Residence only to be greeted on the way in by a flatmate quietly telling me that  had just OD'd on pills in her room. So after casually thanking my parents for a lovely day and ushering them out to the car park and waving them goodbye, I then had to jump in my own car and deliver her into the arms of the paramedics at High Wycombe A&E. (She was fine after a charcoal happy meal)

I've had many birthdays over the years - 35 to be exact. Some have been excellent - The Cannonball Run themed 30th was great. However, this year's was by far the dullest.

It started well. I had the day off and a mild hangover. However it quickly transpired that there were no surprise parties or long lunches going to happen as we (Mrs Cheese-on-Toast and I) had to come into town to clean and decorate our flat for new tenants. It then slowly got worse. I had do two runs to Homebase because I bought the wrong paint. I went to the dump and I sat in traffic for 2 hours to get home. I then had a takeaway with my in-laws. Not a classic by any stretch.

But on Facebook it was OFF THE HOOK!

I was getting messages from around the world. There were more 'likes' than a Fonz appreciation meeting and I even got sent a cake (Virtually, but how nice of them to know I'm watching my weight). It didn't matter that reality was ignoring my birthday - In the digital world it was Cool & the Gang and Celebration. But as they say 'reality bites' and it bit in the form of a card from my nearest and dearest work colleagues.

Roll on next year, where i'll be celebrating exclusively on social media outputs.