I can't quite put my (middle) finger on it.

It maybe because I'm now too old to buy one and I probably couldn't fit inside it anyway… but the YouTube Ad (there's no way TV would air it) for the new Mini Paceman left me somewhat perplexed. 

Not angry, a bit put out. Like any car ad aimed at the cash rich 22 year-olds – of which there are almost a hundred – it featured uber cool shoreditch-onians who like to hang out in cool places that no-one else knows about.

So, we're in a cool setting, it's night time (cool) there's a soundtrack from the latest cool indie band that no-one's heard of (really cool) and our hero is in a record store (uber super uber cool). So far this is all about being cool and by association – the exterior shot of the record store shows the new Mini Paceman  - I'm getting this is a cool car for cool people 'who listen to bands that haven't been invented yet' (Threadless T–Shirt).

I'm onboard. It's not for me, but I get it. He has the record, he's in a rush. 

We pump up the volume and enjoy the quick cuts of the Paceman zooming round a nondescript but totally cool town, slowing briefly to pick up a small paper bag from a chinese gentlemen. What's inside? Powdered Tiger Claw aphrodisiac? Fortune Cookies, His dog's poop?  We never find out. But we know he's cool because he just drives past and he's simply handed the package in one fluid motion.

More zooming, some swerving, this is what it is to be cool and care free. Suddenly though… some 'drunk' jumps the lights in an identical Paceman and our hero almost ploughs into them. However, the Paceman has good brakes! (duly noted) 

So what does he do? Most of us would go APE SHIT, pounding the horn until it blew the other car out of the way, a series of instantly recognisable hand gestures, some people would even reach down and grab the pipe from under the seat and go to town on the identical car. 

But this is Adland. It's a knowing smile from cool bearded guy and then back on the gas without even a hair out of place. I would be shaking with rage, I'd have probably followed the other car with my full beams on for a mile or 10. But as I say, it's not for me so we'll move on.

We're reaching the climax of the ad now, we've seen the car in action, we get it's for cool cats, now we need a killer punch to end it.

Down an alley we go, it's incredibly clean, there are no tramps, no trash, no needles, no dog poo (twice in one blog post) and the car nimbly works its way round the back streets (it's agile, got it). We then come to a shuttered garage door. 

He's not slowing. 

As we get closer, the doors start to open – has he timed it right? 

Of course he has. The Paceman slides under, he pulls up the handbrake, does a little skid and…we're in his lounge. 

Yep, his garage is his front room…but wait just as we're coming to terms with that… the 'drunk' Mini driver pulls up moments later – not only does he live in a cool garage flat, it's cool 2-car garage flat. 

I won't dwell on this fact too long as I've more important things to dissect – but, who, what, where has this. I love cars, but after a night on the booze I know that I'd rather pass out on the sofa than on the bonnet of a small hatchback.

Moving on, so the 'drunk' turns up, the car stops and they get out of the car. It's a girl. A girlfriend? His sister? Perhaps it's his proctologist (this would make total sense in hindsight). We don't know, it's not that important but let's go with girlfriend, only because she looks pissed at him. 

He smirks as only a cool guy in a car ad can and then we cut back to his boo and she gives him the FINGER! 

What?!? Eh?!! Yep, she gets out the car and extends her middle digit. 

He laughs, she laughs, we all laugh – don't we? 

I'm not sure what I think. Is it cool to swear/use this gesture to sell stuff? 

I fucking love swearing, and do so quite regularly. I know in the ad it's a gesture but isn't it the same thing? People will argue that you see this everyday, but (for me) in an advert it's somewhat more offensive. 

Is it trying to be cool for the sake of it? You could've ended the ad a hundred times differently but does it have the impact of the middle finger? Who knows? I'd be interested to see the TV version to compare. 

Design with Bite is the tagline, but it seems a bit weak after the full on one-fingered salute really. If you're going to do swearing, do it properly - I would've ended with her saying, 'Fuck You and your Mini Paceman you Fucking bearded twat!'

So, is it cool for brands to swear now? I know my parents won't be buying a Paceman, and nor will I, but that's probably the point. I'll see how the swearing in advertising thing goes, but if Heinz Beans turn round and tell me to go 'Fuck Myself' I may write to the ASA.

Watch the ad here

Starting 2013 with a toast joke.

I think us copywriters are vastly under rated.

Look what we have to deal with on a daily basis...

Quick question for you...

Having worked within the realms of social media for a few years now, one of our key findings as to the behaviour of fans on corporate Facebook pages is that 'less is more'. Ask them to film content, travel to the factory where they make 'Brand X' or essentially do the agency's job of engagement and you instantly set yourself up for failure - get them to click 'like' or reply with a one word answer or similar and you'll get tens, if not hundreds of 'Impressions' and/or interactions.

Pretty obvious stuff really, although it still astounds me on what some brands think their fans will do for a voucher. There's always a smirk in our creative department when some corporation on FB/Twitter want fans to film themselves using the product. Even better is going to the gallery pages afterwards to see all 6 videos featuring the PR team pretending to be the 'public' - I know, we've done it ourselves...(cough) Cadbury Twisted 'Goo on the Loose'.

So when it came to our next Facebook app for McCain and their positioning 'The nations favourite chips', there was pretty much one simple answer - ask the fans if they were having chips tonight.

Click 'Yes' and a random clip of a cheering crowd, laughing goat, dancing air stewards etc. plays to illustrate that joyous feeling that chips are on the menu this evening. Click 'No' and a commiseration clip played - tears, tantrums and sadness fills the screen. There isn't anything more to it. 

Get there attention, get them to engage, entertain them and then leave. 

And so with that. Goodbye.

http://thisadvertisinglife.tumblr.com/

The animated GIF blog finally reaches Adland. It's a few weeks old now so the better stuff is at the beginning, but it's LOL close to the truth...

Words can't express it...

Over the last few months, my son has been developing his language skills and as he has slowly been coming to grips with vocabulary - verbs, metaphors, adjectives, the use of the tenses - he's also created a number of  indecipherable words. Boo-shoes, dacklallies, up-a-der, baba have (in his native tongue) all become words that are in everyday use. 

So with his ever expanding repertoire of Finn-ish (his name, not the Scandinavian country famous for  Kimi Raikkonen), my thought has been to expand the idea and collate his and everyone else's childhood/offsprings words and compile a 'Baby Dictionary'. 

It seems to have struck a chord, as I've had over 100 submissions already. But what I really need is thousands. If you, your family or your little one has a word or phrase to describe something, I'd love to add it to the blog - anything would be greatly received and all submissions are credited.

You can follow the blog here The Baby Dictionary

You can send me an email here BabyDictionary@mail.com 

And you can follow it on Twitter at twitter.com/babydictionarys

Time for a story...

As my kid approaches the terrible twos, I feel I should start to educate him in the ways of the world a little more. I think there's no better time to start this than at bedtime with a new series of books that are just a little bit more real and probably don't all end with 'happily ever after'.

So Finn. Are you sitting comfortably on daddy's lap and enjoying your bedtime bottle? (nod) 

Good, then let's begin...

You can find these and few more badtime stories here

Regulate by Warren G visually explained

Toast based ORSM-ness

Me likey a lot. 

'Monkey Tennis?' we wispa'd.

Well it's taken over a decade to do, but finally I have managed to get a monkey in an Ad (kind of). And not just one; two and furthermore dressed in tennis whites and holding racquets. Shooting this was one of the most surreal moments in my career. Lets forgo the kick, bollock, scramble from nothing but George Lamb to shooting a final film in less than a week, and focus on the dreamlike events of the day.

Shot in an underground prison in Clerkenwell, you'd be forgiven for thinking we were about to embark on an episode of Most Haunted with Derek Acorah; apart from the fact that there was a 4ft high Dart board propped up against the wall and two Shoreditchonian extras getting into gorilla costumes.

Then George Lamb turned up. He didn't look happy that his boxfresh, Colgate white espadrilles were not the correct footwear for a damp, puddle strewn crypt but he seemed to get passed it. As the crew set-up, a bath arrived, fruit was being polished and inflatable chairs were being... er...inflated.

With water running down the walls and front doors being painted Cadbury Purple, we began turning over. A few shots down and the camera had to be moved. George was left to his own devices. Finding one of the gorilla's tennis balls he began knocking it about. Seizing the chance to play a spot of 'wall ball' with a celebrity?!?!? we struck up a furious competition drawing more and more male spectators eager to join in only to be brought to a stop when a rather ambitious volley of the now sodden and filthy tennis ball from myself left its mark on the shin of his pristine designer suit. For the sake of continuity we concluded our game.

After some great Basketball tricks with a melon and a pineapple, some javelin sized pub darts and a smoke machine filling the former correctional facility with purple fumes, we wrapped. For the pure insanity of it all, the tears and stress to get it in front of a camera and because we managed to get the client to sign off apes playing mixed-doubles, I don't think it's half bad.

Now edited together and turned into a Facebook App, it seems to be going down really well in social media circles. By adding our own Meme Generator people are picking up the idea and well and truly mis-spending some time on the app. As it stands, we're moderating all the Meme proposals ourselves, however at the moment there aren't enough hours in the day to get through them all, which can only be a good sign.

The Time Well Mis-Spent Foundation

And now for something inappropriate and childish.

Some old, some new, some NSFW and some really NSFW. However, some of the greatest use of the English language I've ever encountered appear on these - amazing vocabulary and sheer creativity.

Looking to move on?

As our digital scope broadens, it's been quite nice NOT to do a series of Facebook statuses and do something a bit more digitally substantial that didn't involve a LOL, o/\o or a ; ).

Enter into the frame our Michael Page Interview Technique films.

'Interview Technique films you say. Hell yeah! Let me just get a few more friends and colleagues to gather round so we can all laugh at this together. It's going to be brilliant.'

Alright, it's not the sexiest topic you've ever heard of, but that was part of the challenge. How do we make what is essentially one of the driest and potentially dullest films ever put on the internet, interesting? Fortunately, Michael Page also agreed with this statement - to a point. Yes, we want it to be fun, but also, we want to make sure all the points are made and people remember them - of course they do.

Now I'm not saying they will have you LOL-ing in the aisles, but I'm really rather happy with them considering the topic/budget and I'd go as far as saying they're 'Entertaining'. The chemistry between the two pundits was great and I'd love to have done more stuff with just the two of them. Plus, on personal note, a major coup for us was getting the one and only David Schneider - 'Tony Hayes BBC Controller from Alan Partridge' and of course the Eurostar Train Driver at the end of Mission Impossible - to direct them for us. 

Watch them, but make sure you get a few friends and colleagues to gather round first - they won't want to miss this.

Advertising sLogan's Run

Where do old creatives go? It's a question similarly unanswerable like, 'How come you never see baby pigeons or why are Orange Smarties the only ones that are flavoured?  Of course there are the geniuses who go on to be CD, ECD, EECD or CEOCDFDACWJCB, but for the majority hitting 40 - 50 who are starting to dress more for comfort than Shoreditch; what happens to them when a new management team want to 'freshen up' or re-jig' the creative department?

Has anyone ever been to an Advertising Creative's retirement party?

Is it a bit like being a footballer? Do you gradually play down the leagues until you're playing for your local ad agency/pub/post office, boring people about how you used to be big time? Did I ever tell you about my shoot in LA with David La Chappelle? (It's a great story, btw)

As I turned 35 this year, I've started to question my own advertising mortality. I know I can do the job, occasionally I can do it damn good. But it seems the more ear and nasal hair that seems to be sprouting (and the occasional eyebrow hair that would make a convincing comb over) I'm wondering what the hell am I going to do at 50+ (if I manage to get away with doing this) when ultimately, my number comes up for re-freshment?

So we've established that some go on to be Sage's of the ad world, some manage to direct creativity and some manage to write about how good advertising used to be. Then you've got the college route. Here you can still talk about advertising and impart your wisdom to young minds and become a lesser paid but much better hours creative director. You've got the people who start up businesses in the 'burbs and then you've got......... what?!?!

What do you do? What is there?

I have no idea.

In a way it could be like pressing the reset button. Perhaps start again. Although when I was 9 I could still have been a race car driver. At 50, I'm likely to be the size of the car, much less fit in it. In all honesty, what job does any 50 year old want to do, less even get an interview for?

Do I pursue that idea that plumbers and electricians make a fortune these days and retrain to get a 'Trade' whereby I drive around either unblocking toilets or flipping trip switches in old peoples houses until I'm 75 - I'm not keen I'll be honest.

There's always the 'write a book' option. Apparently everyone has at least one good one in them. I could take the easy option and make it a children's book, whereby the emphasis is on the drawings. (I've read a few since Finn was born and I reckon this has legs) I already have a title 'Granny Rob & her stupid dog'. This is a series that could run forever with the material my lovely mother-in-law provides on an almost weekly basis.

I could follow trend and do my own start up and then sell it for £millions. This seems very popular, I just need the £millions and a few blue chip clients to get started.

Early retirement? I should probably start a pension if that's going to happen.

The lottery? This would solve a lot of problems, not only when the time comes but a few now too.

I really don't know if there's an answer. I suppose I'll have to work out how to play it when/if the time comes. Fortunately, I married someone more talented and business savvy than me, so perhaps I'll just become a Trophy husband.

Only time will tell.

Another 'Truth about Advertising' Tumblr

I like it, it makes a mockery of everything I/we do. 

Ironically it does put into context some of the most pointless - hour burning - let's discuss this in a meeting room - what do you think - conversations that I've spent half of my career trying to second guess what the public want. Now it's painfully clear that they just don't care.

I particularly like the chocolate/games tie-in, purely from a 'that's a bit close to the knuckle' point of view.

Enjoy. 

Things Real People Don't Say About Advertising

I'm just going to leave this here...

Advertising Tumblr of the Day:
This Advertising Life.

Image courtesy of the Jr Art Director Meme
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35dbfq/

Refreshes the parts digital can't reach

It's been a while since I posted any work. That's not because I haven't been doing anything for the past couple of months or that what I have done is of any less quality. No, I've still been ploughing away in the digital fields sowing Facebook apps and emails to the masses. One thing that did however get sent our way was a single 4pp post card/mailpack to announce the launch of the recently face lifted Citroen C1*.

Direct Mail in the age of the digital banner - OK, let's just get this done shall we! However, once the brief was 'briefed' and we dusted off the magic idea markers and layout pads it was actually quite nice to get old style creative on ourselves. Yes it was only a post card, but there was something nice about having to put an idea on something that people were going to pick up off their door mats again. I'm not saying we don't do that with the digital process but it was somehow new and exciting, like when it was the other way round and we were itching to do the digital stuff.

It won't win any awards and it'll probably end up in most people's recycling (if they're doing it properly) but I really enjoyed this little project and i'm quite happy to say it's one of the best bits I've done this year.

Of course the client should see the genius in the idea and stump up the cash for some 6-sheets and role out a nationwide campaign on this thought - but I would think that wouldn't I?

Anyway, have read of the stats - we had fun finding them.

*If you've seen my work, you'll already know that I've done a similar piece for the then updated Peugeot 207 that played on the plastic surgery facelift thought - bandages included. I even won an award for it (Trumpet blown). That does however mean I can't use it again for a few years.

Olympic Shames - #1

With the Olympics just 100 days away, I have taken it upon myself to share with you all the best (and I mean worst) of the products/services that have spent a small African country's budget to be allowed to put some coloured rings next to their logo this summer.

I actually like the Olympic games and if anything, all these promotions will only heighten the anticipation further - if only to find the most awful, possibly inappropriate Olympian relationship.

In no particular order, I begin with Panasonic.

It starts like the opening scene to '28 Days Later' - This is a good and honest start as every Londoner will have vacated the area or been forced to move out as prices from everything from a Starbuck's Latte to a single bus journey will have tripled for the duration.

Not one single frame shows a true reflection of the weather - 2012 umbrellas will be harder to buy than 100M final tickets.

As Jon W (who will be a vital contributor to this said), '...the natural look of wonderment in the 'passers by' is priceless...' 





The fusion of stock film, Olympic footage (tip of the hat for marrying the guys excited expression with the Rhythmic Gymnastics projected on City Hall) and rallying cries of 'Sharing the Passion' have blended together to give us something the world can all look forward to.


It's a strong start from Panasonic but with 100 days to go, I'm sure we'll find plenty of Gold

I've been far too busy Pinteresting

Unless you've been hiding in Google+ waiting for it to 'take off' for the past few months, you must have heard that Pinterest is the best thing since hot buttery sliced toast.

Pinterest at this time, is the fastest-growing social-media site in the world. It lets users visually organize their online world. Simple to use, it serves as an online scrapbook or bulletin board. Visitors create themed boards on which they put photos - A 'Pin'.

With Pinboards full of everything from 'cupcake designs' to 'toilets of hotels' (this could be my next board), it seems everyone is pinning their socks off.

Why?

Initially, it appealed to the housewives of America but since landing on these shores, it seems to be a bit cooler. At last we have a visual place where we can catalogue all the stuff we find (P)interesting - whether that be funny, indulgent, historical or you're building up a catalogue of hints, tips and inspiration for anything from Weddings to Star tattoos.

It was a bit like Twitter, we knew that only the cool kids were using it, we had no idea how it worked but we wanted it. It was all about getting the invite, becoming an early adopter - we'll work out how to use it afterwards.

However, unlike Twitter, it is really easy to use and everything's here - and if it's not, you just create a board of it. As we're becoming more visual creatures it's more satisfying looking at pictures than reading something squashed into 140 characters.

Speaking as a copywriter, I realise i'm dumbing down my own profession but there are still plenty of brochures, blogs, mailers and articles that need long sentences of opinions, adjectives and metaphors. And anyway, who says we can't appreciate a picture or a photo of a hotel toilet like normal people?

And that's what's nice about Pinterest, no-one has to worry about writing something witty, funny or controversial just to get people to like/follow us (Twitter). It's less about being socially accepted here. There's a more relaxed vibe here. It's 'this is the stuff I like, if you like it too, then that's groovy.' No-one is as cutting or opinionated here, it's all peace & love for the time being. Of course, the spammers will get here (if they're not here already) and we'll turn on each other, but for the time being, everyone seems to be enjoying the ride.

I suppose the only thing with Pinterest is don't spread yourself too thin. Don't make a board too specific that there's only a couple of things on each. Nothing looks more desperate than an empty board (it makes you look less interesting - that completely contradicts my previous paragraph).

I for one, love the place for the very reason everybody else does. You can see how uncool I am here

Pinterest/Monza77

Adland Reboot.

Advertising Re-imagined

Can America’s most iconic advertising campaigns be re-imagined for the web?

http://www.projectrebrief.com/

I love this idea from Google. Re-imaging some of the most iconic ads from yesterday using today's technology and new medias'. Makes me almost want to go back to my early work and give it a go. Although, I'm not sure how it would improve a shelf wobbler for '£100 off your holiday with Flash Multi-purpose' spray or an in-bank brochure for Visa where you could win a Vespa?

A window to the soul

And now for something either really useful in an emergency or something that will be classed as a way to inflict pure vandalism. I'll let your conscious decide.